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ravel nursing has been around as long as nursing itself, because history shows us that the first nurses went to the battlefields where they were needed. No sad letters home remain from those early days, but we can assume that loneliness was one of the profession’s greatest hindrances, even then.
From one point of view, this wistful sadness should be less of a problem today. After all, we no longer have to worry that our community and friends might not still be there when we return. We’ll only be gone for thirteen weeks, as a rule. And, with all the advances in modern communication technology, it’s fairly easy to stay in touch.
Nonetheless, loneliness still affects us all, to some degree, and if we give in to it, it can become an insidiously debilitating force, ruining our ability to enjoy our current Travel Nurse assignment. Thankfully there are some habits and routines we can develop which will hold this archaic emotion at bay.
The first is obvious, but still requires work: stay in touch. The trick here is that loneliness is not as simple as it seems. While we tend to think that what we are missing is our family or our best friend, the truth is more complex: loneliness springs from us missing “our former life.” So “staying in touch” has to be engineered: it isn’t just a regular, every-other-day call or e-mail to your spouse, parent, or best friend that’s needed to combat the onset of this lethargy-inducing state, but occasional contact with a broad range of those who made up your “support group” back home.
A good approach is to alternate letters, phone calls, and e-mails—whatever you’re comfortable with. Have a few “talking points” ready each time, and take a moment to recollect your previous interchange. Don’t get so swept up in your new life that you neglect your old friends; if you do, loneliness can sneak up and engulf you before you have a chance to defend yourself.
If you can’t shake an occasional bout of loneliness, try giving yourself more “down time” between your Travel Nurse assignments. You don’t have to complete one only to start another the very next day.
Keeping in contact with “second-tier” friends is not so easy, but it’s important—not every other day, necessarily, but once every seven to ten days. But don’t be too rigid; don’t give them the impression that they’re part of your schedule. Rather, think about these friends and their problems and concerns, and try to engage them on their terms. Maybe you’re learning things on your assignment that could help your friends back home—sometimes only by making them laugh. Share anything relevant from your travel assignment. Don’t repeat something you’ve told a common friend.
And don’t complain; loneliness can be self-perpetuating. Giving in to it is always self-defeating. Besides, don’t you want your friends to think of you as both bold and lucky to find yourself in your exciting new life? So never disparage your new situation in the hope of strengthening your bond with your old friends.
Try to stay in touch with someone who has been a direct superior, such as a teacher or nursing supervisor. Report on your progress—this makes it more tangible, and makes it a better balance against the weight of your sacrifices. And discuss what you don’t fully understand. Anyone who once provided guidance will usually be glad to perpetuate the relationship by staying in touch.
Another important trick is to maintain communication with “neutral site” new friends, such as those you have made in your previous travel assignment. This has two advantages. One is that loneliness isn’t just a longing for something with greater familiarity; it’s equally a need for closeness—especially early in your new assignment, when your new co-workers are still more or less strangers. You can derive some of that needed closeness by remaining in touch with people you’ve met who are not back home, and doing so won’t increase your desire to terminate your contract and go home. And remember: you’re changing, and the people you met in your previous assignment have gotten to know you in your “new mode.”
The other advantage to maintaining contact with new friends is that it puts you in a frame of mind to see that those you are about to meet need not be simply casual acquaintances who in all likelihood will be jettisoned when you move on, but can become part of your network, people you can consult and advise and share with for the rest of your life. Approaching a new situation with this attitude is bound to make it more enjoyable and rewarding. And remember, the siren call of the past is always muted by increasing your engagement with the present.
A corollary to this is the third routine to adopt: bring your past into your present by sharing, in appropriate proportion, some of the interesting things your friends back home are doing with those you meet in your new Travel Nurse assignment. But bear in mind that there’s a trade-off. If you want your new acquaintances to take an interest in your distant friends, you have to show a genuine interest in them, in the nuances of their lives. Delicacy and honesty are the keys here. The way to make a friend is to be a friend.
Loneliness is a natural reaction to a change in circumstances. It can feed upon itself to become a dominant emotion, overwhelming all attempts to exercise rational control of your life if you let it. So to avoid succumbing to it, make a point to follow these suggestions. Yes, it can be hard work—but isn’t life, too? And, like life, it can be fun, too.
Remember, if all else fails, you can always fly home for a weekend. This might be expensive, but not nearly as costly as allowing a negative disposition to develop and ruin all the things you are accomplishing on your Travel Nurse assignment.
